My name is Steven and I\’m 20 years old. Currently I\’m a third-year college student. I have been suffering from this problem for over a year and now I would like to ask for help.
A voice pop up inside my head. It is really loud, and it sounds like someone is scolding me with words begin with \”YOU\” or like \”I\’m bored of you\”. Last year, whenever this happened, it also caused me sudden chest pain. Now it does not, but whenever it happens, I feel really frightened and then I have to scream, shut my eyes and hold my head. After that, sometimes I can feel some kind of real pain on top of my head. All these happen in just a moment and last up to 10 seconds, then my mood drops drastically.
It tends to occur between the time I go to bed and I fall asleep as well as when I\’m studying something. There are also some occurrences in the playing time, meals or when I\’m outside, but these usually happen when I\’m not focused and some smallest things trigger me a series of thought lead to studying problems.
It usually happens more frequently after each time I\’m scolded by my mom, no matter this is done via phone call, messages or direct talk. In fact, those words with \”YOU\” I mentioned before was mostly thrown at me from my mom with loud voice and rapid speed when I was somewhere between 12-16. And for years I have been put on heavy expectations about studying from my parents, this may explain why it usually happens in my studying time.
I sincerely thank you for reading this far and I hope someone could let me know some clues about what I\’m suffering.
This appears that you are getting over stressed and over burdened due to authoritarian style of parenting. This scolding as burdened your sub-conscious mind making your behaviour and perceptions get abnormal. Get a consultation from from any professional psychoanalyst who could unravel your inner fear and bring about the necessary change in your perception. Its not your fault, rather the faulty parenting style which is the culprit.